The Bourne Ultimatum just doesn’t do it for me. I really enjoyed the first two parts of the Matt Damon does MacGyver series but can’t get into the third. I think it might be the UK setting of the first act: watching Bourne act cool in a British train station, to me, isn’t unlike filming The Matrix in a Kwik Save. Also, the normally excellent Paddy Considine’s investigative journo character seems better suited to writing for Bunty or Look-In than The Guardian.

Things improve when they move overseas – although they do it so frequently, and with so little tension, that it becomes kind of ridiculous. And by that point my engagement has checked out. But much of the film’s marketing played on the fact that Bourne was coming home, presumably to kill people with American pens this time. Except that really wasn’t the case, was it?

It reminded me of another chapter of a film franchise that made a big deal of its protagonist’s (also called Jason, hmmmmmmm) trip to New York. I am of course talking about ‘Friday the 13th VII: Jason Takes Manhattan’. But do the similarities end there? Probably. Yes. But then I wouldn’t get much of a post out of that, so here are my reasons why The Bourne Ultimatum is a big fat rip-off.

Note: I’ve presented the results in a spreadsheet format to add gravitas to my argument. Why? Because the human mind is designed to take shit more seriously when it’s on a spreadsheet.

jason-ss

There you have it, Bourne 3 was nothing short of a total rip. And don’t get me started on Green Zone…

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